Transforming
Series One part 3 Blessing: How to Help a Friend
Series One Part Three: How to Help a Friend
Remember, with each Series there is an introductory film of Guidance to introduce the series of Three Blessings. The First Blessing, Part One, From Lost to Exploring. This was followed the Second Blessing, or Part Two: Journal as Journey. And now we arrive at the Third Blessing, Part Three: How to Help a Friend.
When we are asked to help a friend, you will find your changing your orientation from Lost to Exploring will help you greatly. The perspectives you gain by Journaling the Journey will make you an able helper.
Before speaking with our friend who needs help, we Stop; Ponder, and Adore the gift of the moment as a friend has asked us for help. And we are totally present, listening from the Orientation of Exploring (respecting how their Orientation is one of being lost. We listen to understand and sometimes that is sufficient in itself.
We are with our friend in exploring what being lost means for them and their own growth. Your friend is asking for your help, and the first and most important thing we can do is be present. So you have everything you need to be of service to your friend. You may become one to the other, a Helper, Hero, or Helper.
We are blessed to be within their Journal as they Journey.
If your friend asks for specific help regarding their concerns, we are careful not to rush. But to render reflection at its best. And then at their request, share parts of our own story and what has worked for us.
Remember in the reflection we, our friend and ourselves, become wiser. Perhaps you will invite your friend to consider the Orientation of Exploring, and if so, you become the Invitation for new possibilities. We share without expectation of what our friend does with what we share. We share and let it go and get back to listening to them as they seek their path. Like a smorgasbord before you both, you let them choose what they take, and leave the rest.
Series Two Blessing Three: Healers
Healers always remind us of The three rings of power: Ask for Help; Let go of Control; and be Willing to Forgive oneself and others. The beginning of one potentiates the other two! This is Good Medicine. The opposite of these is what makes us sick: Not asking for help; Trying to control everything; and Not forgiving self and others. There is the healing of the mind: recollection, remembrances, of family, critical times when decisions were made. What of decisions that no longer serve us? Thank it and give it its release, so new decisions may be made. Sometimes healing comes by spirit; Spirit of God; Spirit of Life. Spirit of Love. Sometimes there is Generational Healing within families and cultures. To change the Family Tree to some degree! When a tree must be cut down, we can see in the rings of the tree the things that have happened in its life: times of drought or plenty, times of fires and times of fullness. And as we review our stories and their Heroes, Helpers, and Healers, we can have a say in what we add to the family tree, the ring of the tree that is you and me. And Nature itself will come to heal us, in brief and unexpected moments. How do we give thanks to Nature? Just imagine. And even in the imagining there is healing. And in this feeling, take steps of action that can bring healing: to the Earth; its peoples, its creatures great and small, and every kind of species all!
Series Three Part Three Blessing: How We Make Ourselves Sick: Not Forgiving Yourself, Others, or Life
Because we are all connected, because we all are kin, everything we do and say is held here within. Be wise, don’t hold lies. Grow within the seeds of faith, where forgiveness leaves its trace and opens the leaves of the tree of life. Not forgiving yourself, others or life will only bring you strife. Choose life. Choose forgiveness.
“The past is never lost to us. We carry it within us everywhere we go. It is in every cell of our body and soul. It is where we have been. It is where we learn to love. It is where we made our mistakes and where we can consign them. The gift is knowing that the present will soon pass. And that the way we embrace it has the power to change everything.”
From the television series Call The Midwife! Words spoken by Vanessa Redgrave.
Series Four. Part Three Blessing: Living The Dream. The Relational Phase
We acknowledge at some point in time, whether alone or in the presence of others, that we must let it all go. For after all, it is the dreams responsibility for where it goes now. Not mine. My job at the end is to surrender it all. Regardless, we stay tuned. We do the Baby-steps when called for. We nourish the dream. But we know we do not possess sit. It possesses us!
Series Five, Part Three Blessing: How to Release When Dealing With Change
So here we are, learning to deal with change, knowing what to remember, and how to relate to change. Now we focus on how to ‘release’ when dealing with change. Change always requires that we release something (defenses, anxiety, control, worry, judgement) in order to make room for receiving something new.
Presented here are the Four Winds of Mindfulness when dealing with change:
• Honor the four-fold nature of life.
• Know when to use the Three Chairs of life Development (One for Solitude; Two for Friendship; and Three for Community).
• Participate in the positive patterns in your life (One event is singular, two could be coincidence, three or more is a Pattern-learn their currents, trade in their currency, keep in your consciousness).
• Fourth, come to know Luminosity (that sacred space of in-between… what was and what will be, and is not yet. This is no less sacred of a space than what was, and what will be. Make friends with it. When we stand at the Gate just before stepping over: Luminosity. Write this upon the tablet of your heart).
Now: complete the step. Step through the Gate!
Series Six Part Three Blessing: Honorable Death
What if…what if we could know for certain about all of this stuff about death and dying. Well, I guess we will all have to stay tuned to find out what happens when death visits. Until then:
How do we have an honorable death?
- Live a life of love and kindness.
- Live a life of asking for help when needed and giving help to others.
- Giving gratitude for our heroes, helpers, and healers.
- Live with an attitude of gratitude for all of our ancestors of all peoples.
- Live a life of forgiveness rather than bitterness.
- Live a life of meaning and purpose: seeking, finding, and living out your dream.
Welcome to Series Six Part Three: An Honorable Death.
When Death Comes to Stay:
What to do in the mornings after the loss of a loved one.
Stephen W Emerick PHD
When death of a loved one comes to stay (and there will be many times in your life that it will do so) it is important to know what to do.
Upon rising in the morning, first drink some pure water to hydrate from the nights restlessness.
Then find a source of smoke: it may be incense you have, or perhaps some Santo Palo sticks, or sage. You can easily get some dry leaves or twig to burn in a small bowl or on a stone. You want to be able to light this and see the smoke rise.
Then in quiet time, light this. As the smoke rises run your hands over the smoke so the smell enfolds your hands. You may do this for the rest of your body also.
This is ritual, an act of adoration and gratitude. Our own human scent is replaced by the scent of mother earth’s plants and takes it out to all the world and to the Creator. It tells the world we grieve, that our loss can be so immense it seems to fill the whole world. Yet in prayer and gratitude, arising on the scent of plant, it also tells another story.
This is the story of our love for this particular loved one. What it is we grieve. And we grieve because of what we loved about them. About how they touched our lives. Leaving a lasting impact.
No matter your faith or none at all, take time to pray, meditate, grieve, cry, give thanks, remember. And yes, this grief will change you, but love changes us as well.
And as we watch the smoke rising into the air and even fill the room or area where we are, we see that it appears to dissipate. It becomes part of the area around us, or the land where we are, and into the sky.
We are reminded this is how it is with love. We feel it deeply, feel its release in loss, and also (with time) find it fills our world again. The smoke has risen to tell the world of our love for them, filled the personal space where we are, and then fills us again. Full circle.
Thus, while we are grieving, we are comforted by place, presence, scent, and sacredness. What we thought had left forever was released and, in the releasing, has come to reside in us again. This is the way of grief and love.
Do this each morning as you need. For with dawn comes the first food of the morning – the light of the sun. As we feel it upon and then within our body, life is once again coming full circle. Day and Night. Life and Death, Birth again.
Most importantly, while ritual and ceremony will help a great deal, you are the sacred place wherein the loved one comes to reside. And the scent abides with us, appearing to dissipate yet in reality embeds itself within us in sacred muscle-memory remembrance. Any other time we do this, this scent re-minds us. Re-binds us… to the loved one and their story in our life.
Stephen
Series 7 Blessing 3: Relating to One's Self
Blessing Three: Relating well with one’s self.
Relating well with ourselves – this becomes possible, engaging and enlivening when
we drain the brain of harsh judgement, learn to think from the heart, and bridge
right relationships from the start! And have a balanced right relationship with the
body: taking time for rest, learning new things, reflecting, dreaming, and being
fully present. Balance asking for help with giving help to others.
This is a shared world. As we share, we are spared from the greed, seeds, and
deeds of selfishness. And is selfishness not a distorted reflection of our need for
times of solitude? And if we need solitude and Practice it, then we bring richness to
our relationship with others and the world universe.
When times are difficult or challenging and you question if the things you do make
any difference in the world, remember the three chairs. Anything done to one is
done to all. If you keep those three chairs in mind and keep them balanced, you
just might have a blast when living into the future, the gift of the present, and
humble thankfulness for the past.
Series 8 Blessing 3: The Ten Considerations of the Spiritual Life
When one thinks of the Four Winds, or the Four Directions, we do not necessarily
limit ourselves to those. The Universe is much deeper wider and higher. Besides
East, West, South, and North there is above, below, behind, before, around and
within.
So when we consider the Ten Vitalities of Life, rest assured they point to a thousand
that are here for us! But is as when we come into this world, we have to start
somewhere! Come along and explore these vitalities that help us find the latitude of
gratitude and the longitude of our longings.
We are forever of one/a chord/cord.